It's like forgetting the words to your favourite song.
You can't believe it, you were always singing along.
It was so easy and the words so sweet
You can't remember, you try to feel the beat.

I think it is sad that I just started crying over three words.

In the midst of bad, you can always find some good.

I can't sing with them, but that doesn't mean I can't sing at all.Y

First off, I am SOO stoked that Hannah is turning 18 soon. It's kinda a scary thought, the first person out of our close group of friends to turn 18. Officially an adult. And can do all those adulty things that us 17 year olds can't.
But mostly I am stoked to give you your present.
Beware, it isn't G rated.

Speaking of which, I'm a little bit concerned. The girls who I help coach/train, they are all 14/15/16. And I'm pretty sure that like, none of them are virgins. Today at ringette, they informed me that whenever someone on the team has sex, the whole team gets Peter's. They said I could be included.
I'm stoked. Not on the fact that the people that I am coaching, who seem so much younger than me, even though they aren't really, are having sex.
But I am stoked that I get Peter's. Yum.

Once again, I am SO SO SO stoked for my birthday. Not because I'm turning 18 and I can legally get drunk out of mind. Or rather, other people can legally get me drunk out of my mind.
But because I know all of my family is going to come together to celebrate it.

Not only that, but I will get to spend one special night with the people who fill my heart.
Y

I LOVE COUNTRY MUSIC.
Listening to country music is like being home.
It's the farm girl in me.

Sooo, 2011 came, and it's like I just exploded.

I can't explain how I am feeling, although I can say that it has nothing to do with the fact that it's a brand new year. In fact, I feel much the same, because I have spent the first few days of the new year doing the exact same things that I always do, the things that I had told myself that I was not going to do.

Through these actions, I have found that I am tired of being who I am, and I have found that the things I want in life have changed.
I have found I don't feel as if I belong with certain friends anymore. And I was utterly uncomfortable being with them until I was drunk. In which case I was fine. I have gotten into a bit of a bad habit of wanting alcohol to make my feelings go away. And we all know that is never good.
I have found that all I want to do is get through this month, or rather just this week.
I have found that when 11:11 comes around, I don't even know what to wish for anymore.
I have found that all I want to do is be 18 and go out.
I have found that I am constantly thinking about my flaws.
I have found that in constantly thinking about my flaws, my mind has not been on my monologue. God, how I don't want to do this fucking monologue.
I have found that I feel left behind, though at least for me, there was no way to avoid this.
I have found that I feel bad for the person I love who was left behind, but had a choice. And one of the reasons she stayed behind was me. And now she is unhappy.
I have found I rarely get excited anymore.

Well, that's not true. I am excited for jersey shore 3. Too stoked for that.